


Love is evoL

by rextexx



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Awkward Crush, Dubious Ethics, Falling In Love, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, More tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-06 12:23:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15885978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rextexx/pseuds/rextexx
Summary: When Robbie finds himself desperate for a new idea to get Sportacus out of town , he stumbles upon a love potion that promises to make the person who drinks it fall in love with the first person they see. Intending to make the hero fall for him so he does everything Robbie tells him to do,  one cold-hearted villain soon realizes that playing with love is not as easy as it seems to be.





	1. Chapter 1

In times of great duress, Robbie found himself doing things he never ever considered doing. For instance – using a computer.

That was usually this pixel boy's job. He knew all those great machines and scary constructions and the depth of the internet like the back of his hand, which led him to find and order the most curious and dubious things Robbie had never even seen before.

He knew. After all, like on every other villager, Robbie was spying on him, too. Especially his mail since recently.

He would unpack strange items like boards on wheels and drones, modifying them until they were like little killing machines. Robbie had shot that nasty thing off the sky at least three times whenever it dared to come close to his bunker.

  
However, Robbie had grown curious.

“If Poodle can find flying drones on a computer , “ he concluded. “I could find whatever I wish for too!   Yes!   _Of course!_ ” Robbie raised his finger. “This is the perfect solution! I will order something from this...inter-net thingy; something so malicious, something so despicable it's guaranteed to get rid of Sportablop forever!”

He chuckled deeply. “Sometimes I'm _so mean,_ that I scare myself...”

And with that, he spun around, and marched over to his working bench. He began digging his way through numerous cabinets and closets throwing scraps all over the place, until -

 _“Ah-ha!”_ Robbie exclaimed, as he found it.

The large, blocky monitor was right in the back of the closet, dusted, and old. Way too old. He blew over the casing and a plume of dust swirled around him. Robbie sneezed.

“Yuck, what a greeting after all these years...” Robbie muttered, as he placed the box on the table. It was nothing like the huge, high-tech monitors in Pixel's little lab. But it worked, and that was all that mattered, as Robbie booted it up, and began rubbing his hands in glee.

“Now, inter-net. You and me, we will write history! We will work together to bring peace and order back into Lazytown. Alright – here we go.”

  
He clicked on the icon with the fox made of fire – and paused. 

Hold on. He had absolutely no idea how to use this thing. Robbie squinted hard to read the small text on flickering screen. Boogle stood there in colorful letters, and a blinking search bar beneath.

  
“Uh, hm. Uhm... Hrm.” Robbie scratched his head. His first guess was that this had to be some sort of artificial intelligence, that would surely find whatever Robbie needed.

So, he started hovering his finger over the keys. He seemed to have done something right, for there suddenly appeared a letter inside the box.

  
 _' c '_  
  
So far so good. For a moment, Robbie wondered what he should even type . If he should type anything at all ?

_' c a k e ' ._

Just to test if this thing really worked.

At once, the page loaded and several pictures of the most delicious cakes and pies Robbie has ever seen popped up on the screen. Giddiness and hunger bubbled inside his guts and he wiggled in excitement. Alright! Time to get down to business!

  
 _' Need to get rid of sportacus '_ he typed, and pressed enter.

Robbie's face changed from excited to one of utter disgust.

 _Eugh !!_ Just looking at photos of that man made his stomach flip and turn inside his body. It does it all the time when he sees him ! And were those videos of him as well ?!  Ugh, that Pixel boy really went nuts with his webpage.

He scrolled for a while, with most webpages being dead ends – until he struck gold.

  
_' The Shop Till You Drop Online Store. For all your villainy needs.'_

  
Robbie's eyes lit up. “Yes, that's exactly what I need! Thank you, Boogle!”

  
ShopTillYouDrop dot net was a large web page, and Robbie had to scroll several times until he found the bottom. On the web page, he found several offers for traps, disguises, awfully shady weaponry, of which Robbie was absolutely sure most of them were actual very illegal ( and thus very covetable ), and -

  
“Well, well, well. What do we have here.” Robbie snickered, as he pushed the cursor over the newest inclusion to the list of supplies.  
  
In a rich, vibrant pink header, the page blinked:

  
'Love is EvoL – Love potions.'

  
“Ugh, love potions.” Robbie rolled his eyes. “That trick's older than me.”

He was about to leave the page, when his eyes caught the description, which said:

“Are you a villain, stuck with a smug hero that slips through all of your traps? Have you used all of your plan and ideas, and nothing worked? Why not try and take things from the more immoral side? Our new recipe guarantees a 100% success rate. Made from our most potent ingredients, sportscandy and just a sprinkle of malice, this love potion will enchant your victim at once. Just add a single string of your own hair and just like that, your pesky menace of a superhero will be absolutely besotted with you, and follows your every command. Make him jump into a meatgrinder! Tell him to play hide and seek in a nuclear power plant! Or simply send him away forever and ever. Your choices are unlimited!”

  
“Sportscandy, huh? Follows my every command, huh? Hmm...” Robbie rubbed his chin thoughtfully – and then, it hit him.

  
The most evil plan of all. The master of masterplans.  
  
A plan, that was absolutely guaranteed to get Sportacus to leave, _forever and ever._

  
Robbie began chuckling. Then his whole body was jerking with evil laughter.  
  
“That's it!” he rejoiced. “I will poison that wretched blue bouncing bean with a love potion! He will fall for me the moment he sees me – and then he will be too smitten with me to even care about sports anymore! He will follow my commands and my very step! I could send this Sportadunce out of town forever!”

Robbie jumped in excitement on the spot, falling into a cheery sing-sang: “I'll get rid of Sportacrush, I'll get rid of Sportacrush! _Mwah-ha-ha,_ he won't even know what'll hit him!” he jubilated, and hopped to the periscope, drawing it close, and fixing itself of the blue elf, playing one of their stupid soccer games.

  
“Enjoy the last few hours you have in this town, Sportakook. For it'll be your last , before you will be struck by my absolute handsomeness!”

 

 

The love potion arrived faster than Robbie had believed. It tumbled through the pipes as soon as he called the purchase hotline, asking for their most powerful mixture.

  
The box was small and dark red, wrapped in a pink bow. It might have passed for a romantic box of chocolate. Robbie unwrapped it with gentle fingers, too scared to break it. It contained a small bottle in the shape of a heart, with a blood-red liquid inside. Robbie opened it, sniffing – and quickly closed it again.

“Bleh. It reeks of _healthy!_ ” he growled, and grabbed the instruction manual.

  
It was rather simple – just add hair of the person the victim is supposed to fall in love with.

  
“Shake the content and pour a few drops into a drink.” Robbie read. “That's fairly easy. Alright, let's – no. Wait!” Robbie stopped dead in his tracks. His expression grew wary.

“This is too easy. There must be some sort of byeffects, right? Or terms and conditions, right?” Robbie twisted, and turned the box, but found nothing, except a small warning disclaimer:

“Does not work on mammals, robots, inanimate object. Keep away from children.”

  
“Huh.” Robbie shrugged. “Well, Sportacus is neither of these, I hope. Alright. Only one single hair ...” Robbie plucked a hair out of his pompadour with a small yelp, and dropped it into the bottle, shaking it. Once he opened it, a plume of pink smoke puffed out of the bottle, and it instantly colored into the consistency of water.  
  
Robbie sniffed again. It was fairly odorless now, though he believed he caught a whiff of his own aftershave.  
  
“Hehe. Good.” Robbie snickered, closing it again. “This blue bouncing kangaroo won't even notice. Now ; how will I get Sportakook to drink it? Hm ...”

Eyes scan the lair inquisitively while Robbie scratched the spot under his nose .

Then, his eyes fell on one of the bottles on his floor. It's one of Sportacus' H20 bottle Robbie had swiped one day out of curiosity what water actually tasted like. He did not like it one bit, hence why it was still full and unused. Robbie gasped a breathy laughter.

“Perfect!! Absolutely perfect! Here we go !” He said, as he jumped to the ladder .

 

* * *

  
  
It was a terribly warm day in Lazytown. The air was thick and a little muggy, and Robbie gave a disgusted wheeze.

“What a terrible day today.” he groaned and pushed himself out of the chute and into the free, walking towards the sportsfield. He felt oddly naked, with no disguise on or anything. But he knew, the love potion would take effect much more efficiently, when Robbie himself was going to be the first thing he will see after drinking it - love at first sight, so to say.

  
He wondered about how he should proceed after that when he arrived at the sports field. Nobody was there.

  
“Huh. I could have sworn they were here when I looked through the periscope.” he muttered. He looked right and looked left. No trace of anybody. No toys lying around. No screaming, laughing, dancing. Not even Sportacus' crystal bleeping. 

“Hrrm.” Robbie put his hands in his sides, leaning against the low stone wall. “Now where could that Sportaloon be...?”

Suddenly, a hand stuck out from behind the stone fence.   
“Hi, Robbie!”

  
Robbie's voice broke with the yelp he let out, stumbling backwards, and nearly dropping the potion he still held in his hand.

  
“Sportahide!” he panted, his cheeks colored with embarrassment from the nearly girlish scream he just let out “What are you – _where_ are you?”  
  
“Shh.” Sportacus made. “I'm here, but – speak lowly.”  
  
  
Robbie frowned. What was this about now? Sportacus was _hiding?_ That was something entirely new.   
  
Robbie leaned over to see the hero crouched behind a row of shrubbery. He tried his best to blend in with the greens around him, which was not really easy considering he was completely attired in blue.

  
“I know I'll regret asking, but – what are you hiding from?”  
  
“From Trixie, shh!” Sportacus placed his finger to his lips. “We are playing tag and seek.”  
  
“Tag and _what now?”_  
  
“Tag and seek! Its a game the kids came up with.” Sportacus explained with the patience of a saint. “It's a hybrid of tag and hide and seek.”  
  
  
“My my! Beware world, we have five new Einsteins among us.” Robbie sneered, but Sportacus grinned widely.  
  
“That's so sweet of you.”   
  
“Th-That wasn't a compliment.“

  
“Say,” Sportacus overlooked his reply. “You wanna play too? I don't think the kids would mind having an extra player.”

  
Robbie blinked. “Me?” he asked. But then, he quickly shook his head. “Most definitely not.” Robbie wiggled his vest in place. “I have more important things to do – “

  
“GOTCHA!”

  
Robbie was tackled from behind, two tiny arms wrapped around his legs.  
  
“ _Yyargh!_ Ugh! Hey!!” Robbie barely caught himself from falling.

The loud girl was clinging to him. “Caught ya, Rotten boy!” She laughed.

  
“Get off me! I'm not part of your stupid game!” Robbie barked, and Trixie pinched his thigh, before letting go of him to chase after Sportacus, who had stuck his head out curiously to see what had caused Robbie to yelp. He gave a feigned sound of surprise and distress as he jogged away, with Trixie following close behind.

Robbie huffed and rubbed the offended spot on his leg the pigtail brat had pinched. This was his chance though, he realized. Quickly, he crouched behind the stone fence until he was out of sight.

“ Hehe. Now all I have to do is give this tinkered bottle of - guh ! _Rainwaiter_ \- to him !” From one of his pockets, he drew out the potion and fake water. 

“This better pays off.” he growled and opened the cap.

 

'Only a few drops', the instruction said – but Robbie poured half of the bottle inside. Just to make sure. To his relief, the beverage stayed as clear and plain as it was before. No strange pigmentation, no odd smells or any other strange things you wouldn't expect when opening a bottle of water.

He waited for an opportunity to have Sportacus for his own, without his fanclub scuttling around him.

  
“Alright guys.” Sportacus said after everyone was caught and out of breath. “We should all take a break and have a drink. It's a sunny day, and we should all stay hydrated.”  
  
“Sportacus is right! You guy want some lemonade? My uncle made some this morning!” Stephanie suggested, and off they went, all of them cheering for lemonade. Sportacus smiled to himself, leaning against the wall, and picking up his apple. Robbie flinched, this was his cue ! He had to move, quick!!

  
Robbie tried his very best to stay inconspicuous as he leaned against the wall next to the hero.

“Why hel – “ he missed the wall by a few inches and nearly slipped, but awkwardly rearranged himself again.  
  
“I-uh – Why hello, Sportaflop.” Robbie grinned a little stiffly. “Enjoying the peace and calmness?”  
  
“Well, it's kind of nice for a while. Until the kids get back at least.” Sportacus juggled the apple from one side to the other. “They'll be back once they had their drinks.”

  
“Uh-huh.” Robbie inched closer, while pushing the waterbottle along, a little closer into Sportacus' reach. “Sooo, speaking of that – I'm supposing you wanna be a good rolemodel to them?”

  
Sportacus blinked back at the villain. “Oh ! Yes, you are absolutely right, Robbie!” Sportacus lifted his finger. “Ship ! Wa--”  
  
“Hold on, Sportadud!” Robie hadn't meant to slap his fingers to the hero's lips to shush him, yet he did. Sportacus stared down at the villains fingers on his lips before Robbie drew them away with a sheepish laughter.

“Err heh. Well. I meant uhm – no need to call for water. I've got you covered, Sportabuddy!”  
  
Robbie pointed his hand at the waterbottle next to him in a 'ta-daa' fashion. The hero looked at Robbie. Then at the drink , and back at Robbie. And then he smiled. Not the usual warm soft lopsided smile, but in a strange, dare he say, touching way.  
  
“You brought some water for me?” he asked.   
  
“No need to thank me.” Robbie inspected his fingernails. “I bought some cake and they gave me one for free. But since I'm highly allergic to water...”  
  
“And you wanted me to have it.” Sportacus concluded. Robbie feigned a smile himself. “Yes. Aren't I awfully _nice?_ Will you take it now or not?” he pushed.  
  
“I will. Thank you Robbie.” Sportacus took the bottle and opened. Robbie felt his hand clench as he watched the hero raising it to his lips. Then he paused.

“Wait.” Sportacus frowned. Robbie's heart bounced in sudden anxiety. “You didn't put something in there, right?” Sportacus asked. “ No sugar, or anything _bad_... right?”

  
Robbie stiffened for just a second. Then, he sputtered.

“Y-You – you - You'd accuse _me_ of doing _such_ preposterous things? I'm offended! Really, Sportaclown, we know each other for years now - when has anything I've ever done for you caused any harm?”  
  
“Well - always, I think.”  
  
A bead of sweat rolled down Robbie's temple. “I-I-err, uh. That was the past, Sportafl -- Sportacus. I'm just... _concerned_...about you.” Robbie couldn't believe what he just said, himself.  
  
“You are?” Sportacus perked up.   
  
“ _Of course_ I am.” Robbie pressed behind clenched teeth. But Sportacus beamed. “I appreciate that. Alot. ” he said, and raised the bottle back to his lips.

  
“Hey, Robbie?”  
  
“ _What_?” Robbie hissed now, the smile he feigned began to hurt his face.  
  
“I just wanted you to know that, well . For what it's worth – I think you're not as evil and bad as you say you are.”

  
He smiles again. And Robbie visibly deflates. He feels caught in the act. Like a deer in the headlights. Offguard. _Not as bad as he said he was_ – what was this about? How could he be saying this? Robbie was the evilest person in all of Lazytown's history, heck, he was villain number one !! He should feel offended for being mistaken for an ordinary good guy. But he didn't feel angry. He felt strangely uncomfortable. The way he knew something would happen that was out of his control. It was a numb, drowning pressure on his chest and his stomach, and it tightened just further as Sportacus smiled at him one more time, after waiting for an answer perhaps, but not receiving one.

  
Robbie gulped. And to his chagrin, he noticed a lump in his throat. Could it be that he was getting cold feet all of the sudden? Could it be that he felt ... _guilty?_

  
Robbie's stomach tightened suddenly as Sportacus raised the bottle to his mouth. Yep. Definitely guilty.

He just now realized in what kind of situation he was caught in; he had lied to the hero, several times in just a few seconds, when he had been so honest with him – and what was even worse: He was about to drink the love potion Robbie had smuggled into his drink!

Oh, oh no. If Sportacus would really drink it, and find out later that I had been Robbie who deceived him like this – He would never look at him with this smile again. He would never speak to him ever again !! Never would he hear these words , ' not as evil and bad as you say you are', coming from Sportacus' mouth ever again !

Maybe he really is as bad and evil as he says he is – maybe even worse !

  
“Sportacus – “Robbie blurted, raising his hand, about to stop the hero from drinking, but - 

  
Sportacus had taken a large gulp from the bottle. He opened his eyes, and looked to the villain with a curious 'Hm?' sound.  
  
Robbie stood there, frozen once more. With biting anxiety, he waited for the potion to set in. To see Sportacus fall for him. It must be happening right now, Robbie thought, and he felt miserable inside knowing that it was happening right before his very eyes. All his confidence was gone – he wished for nothing more right now than to be in a disguise. Not to be the person Sportacus would fall for.

  
“Did you say something, Robbie?” Sportacus asked again.  
  
Robbie felt his chest tighten as he lied yet again, shaking his head. Sportacus smiled again, that damned warm, kind smile, and took another long sip. Robbie felt like folding into himself and hiding in a mousehole. The hero placed the bottle down, wiped his lips and sighed as he stretched his arms above his head.   
  
“Ah, this really helped. I feel much more energetic now.” Sportacus rolled his shoulders, then he pushed himself off the wall. “Well, gotta go! The kids are coming back ! Thanks for reminding me to drink, Robbie. See you later!”

  
And off he was.

  
And Robbie was left too dumbfounded to give a reply.

  
It...it didn't work.  
  
 _It didn't work!_

  
He had poured almost all of the potion inside that waterbottle, and Sportacus had nearly drank it empty - and it did _nothing!_ No smitten Sportacus. No heart throb. No hanging jaw and lovedrunk eyes, no 'I'll do anything for you, Robbie' – _nothing._

  
Robbie slumped to the floor and crouched behind the wall, shielding himself from curious eyes as he fumbled for the bottle in his pockets.

“This – this is impossible!” he said with a shaky voice. “I am sure I have followed all instructions! Why didn't it – ah-ha!” Robbie pressed his finger onto the small block of font on the back of the bottle, reading out loud.

  
“Warning disclaimer, Does not work on mammals, children, inanimate object –“

  
He just noticed there was a price tag covering another chunk of text. In his giddiness, Robbie must have not noticed it there at first at all. Short nails scratched at the stick plastic until he got it scrubbed off completely

 

“ – and if the target  already has romantic feelings for the poisoner ?!”

  
Robbie blinked. Once. Twice. He read it again. Blinked again. Stared at the bottle for a few seconds, before turning to stare over the fence towards the hero.

 

“It – he – “ Robbie whispered. “It didn't work because – _he's_ –? “

  
Sportacus was dribbling the ball from one foot to the other, before passing it to Pixel. He turned, and spotted Robbie peeking from behind the wall. With a warm chuckle, the hero waved at him.  
  
And Robbie's face colored several dark shades of pink.  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

“No. Nono.” Robbie shook his head . “He does most definitely, most positively, absolutely not have a crush on me!!”

Robbie slipped down the chute into his lair .   “I am absolutely, a hundred percent positive he doesn't.”

He was so caught in repeating this, he nearly missed his exit and stumbled into his living room, the orange armchair catching his fall barely . His knees were shaky. His heart had calmed from racing in his body, but now it was left in a really uncomfortable, quick paced flutter that hurt his chest and shortened his breath.

  
“It is not – I repeat, _not_ – possible!” Robbie repeated. “I-I know it!! I know because – because, uh.” Robbie tapped his chin. “Because I'm too handsome for him! And, and – And he doesn't even act like he's in to me!! He treats me just as dumb and fragile and helpless as he does with his brats!”

He growled under his breath as he dashed towards his workbench, snatching the potion box and glaring at it.

 

“ Bah! I should have known better! Of course it doesn't work !! This is just a stupid hoax !”

 

Robbie tossed into the trashcan. “How could I've fallen for this baloney!? Love potions never work. They never have, never will. And I wasted sixty-five dollars for this trash, too, gah!! ”

 

Robbie rubbed a hand over his face. This was a mess. On one hand, he was frustrated, and discouraged to have yet another plan fail so miserably – on the other hand, he was somewhat glad it hadn't worked, really.

The thought to have Sportacus run after him and do whatever he wished him to do was appealing; but also strange. It didn't feel right. Which was strange in itself. How come he was completely fine with attempting to shoot him out of a canon, force him into multiple sugar meltdowns, capture and lock him up, send robotic death machines after him and generally bring him, and the kids, and himself even, in hazardous situation – but poisoning Sportacus to fall in love with him, that seemed too strange for him?!

  
He simply felt betrayed by his very own naivety. Really, was he that desperate to chase Sportacus out of town that he was taking the help of con-artists and their fake love potions?

  
“No.” Robbie slammed his fist on the table. “I am Robbie Rotten, villain number one for over twenty years now - I am _better_ than this! I have build and invented things nobody even dared to try! I am above this cheap hocuspocus!”

Robbie raised the heart-shaped phial from his pocket and stared at it in disgust. Then, a thought popped into his mind.

 

Fine. He had to consider the possibility that Sportacus perhaps, maybe, possibly, had a crush on him. After all, could he blame him? Not a single lady, or gentleman passing through his life hadn't at least pined for him once. Maybe … _Possibly_ ...

  
He knew he shouldn't invest any further thought in this, and instead move on to something more efficient, something he had came up with on his own to make Sportacus leave town – however, he decided, he would give the potion the benefit of the doubt. At least, once.

  
“Hmm...Maybe Sportacus proves himself to be a less efficient guinea pig for this than I thought...” Robbie muttered to himself, as his eyes scanned the area – and stopped at the bird cage hanging from the staircase.

He had kept this pretty white cockatoo ever since the previous owner left it in this very lair, and cockered the poor animal up again – only to use it, occasionally, for a few parrot-friendly experiments.

 

It made a confused 'Crawh' sound as Robbie eyed him with malicious intends.

  
“It should work...” he muttered, and proceeded to open the cage, offering his finger. “Why, hello my old feathery friend. How are we doing today? ”  
  
'Coocaw?'  
  
The bird moved to Robbie's hand and held onto his knuckle as Robbie carried the bird over to his armchair. “Say, are you hungry?” Robbie snatched a cracker from his pockets. “Yes? Polly want a cracker?”

  
The bird jumped on his finger in excitement, throwing its head up and down. “Yes, that's what I thought. Open wide then, here comes the choo choo train!” Robbie held the cracker over the birds head, who willingly opened its beak.

  
The cookie was swiftly replaced with a drop of love potion.

  
“Choo-choo – chug it down!!”

  
With a confused coo, the bird blinked and shook its feathery head. Fazed, it looked around itself, turning his head all the way around until he looked back at its owner. A low coo, and the bird began swaying to and fro. It jumped from his fingers up to his shoulder, cooing and purring and ruffling its small body up, and pressed itself against Robbie's cheek.

  
“Hah! Haha! That proves it!” Robbie held his finger up high. “It does work! I knew it! I had faith in it all along, of course! Robbie Rotten doesn't fall for fake magic and – Wait hold on,” he deflated all of the sudden. “That's...that's actually pretty bad, isn't it?”

If this thing does actually work on a bird who had no feelings for him beyond a mutual you-give-me-food-so-I-tolerate-you-relationship, but not on Sportacus …

He almost doesn't want to – yet he read the warnings on the back of the bottle again and again. _Not effective if target already has romantic feelings for the poisoner ..._

 _  
_  
“Oh no … ,” Robbie cried out. “He _does_ have a crush on me!”

 

* * *

 

Sportacus doesn't know it, but Robbie keeps a close eye on him. At least, that's what he tries to do.

His pet parrot has not left his side ever since and gave a constant background ambiance of soft coos and flirtatious parrot-sounds, and it might blow his cover.

  
He pressed himself against the large trunk of a tree, and peeked around the sportsfield, the park and the playground. He's hitting pay dirt at the swing set. The kids all have a blast with swinging and climbing, while Sportacus balances himself, upside down , on the low stone fence a few yards away. It seemed like he had grown a little bored of supervising the children without moving, thus began his own exercising on his own.

 

“There he is, that big blue blowhard.!” Robbie grumbled.

The parrot croaked softly and continued to rub itself against his face and lovingly nip at his earlope.  
  
“W-Would you stop that!” Robbie hissed. “I can't focus with you biting on my – _oh_.” Robbie's attention was drawn to his fingertips. He flinched at the touch of something soft, and surely, he noticed something strange resting on the stony ledge.

It was...his hat. It was blue, with white stripes, and a set of blue goggles on top. He glanced back at the superhero – and surely enough, there was no hat on his head. Instead, a curtain of fair hair , curled and soft-looking, covered half of Sportacus' face as he stood upside down.

 

Blonde?! That sporadic Sportadunce was blonde ?!

 

Sportacus was now balancing on one single arm, holding all of his body up with the sheer power in his right arm, before pushing himself off the ledge, flipped, landed on his feet . His fingers combed his hair out of his eyes, smoothing it back down his scalp, the pointy ends of his ears protruding from the yellow waves.

He must have been standing there , just staring for a while now – his jaw began hurting from staying open for too long, so he closed it.

His tongue was oddly dry and heavy in his mouth, and there it as again – that strange pulling sensation in the pit of his stomach. It made his body fold in on itself, hand on top of his chest. Eugh, maybe that last piece of cake had been expired. 

  
'Cacaw?' the cockatoo on his shoulder cooed.

Suddenly Sportacus turned in his direction, and with a soft gasp, Robbie quickly pressed his body against the tree again. For a second he thought his cover was blown – but after a while, he heard Sportacus moving around again. A wave of desperation washed over him.

“Ough, how does this blue bean have feelings for me ? I-I'm handsome, smart, brilliant, yes, but – I'm also bad !! Hero's don't fall in love with bad guys.” His expression fell. “And if this Sportaspoon has a crush on me , why doesn't he leave when I tell him to leave?! Or do whatever I tell him to do?! That's what real love is about, isn't it ?! Control, and – and manipulating , and – sending people out of town !”

  
He harrumphed , stomped his shoe on the ground, making the bird on his shoulder shriek in fright. “And you – shut it!” he snarled.

Suddenly he had an idea .

 

“Maybe he doesn't have strong enough feelings more me _yet !_ Maybe I'll have to further make him fall in love with me in order to get him to do whatever I want ! Hah, what a brilliant idea, Robbie ! If potions and magic fails, you just gotta use what you've been gifted with. And my, am I gifted, indeed !!” he chuckled lowly in his chest as he smoothed a strand of black hair back in its order.

“ Hrrm. But how do I romance the blue elf?”

  
  
Well, it wasn't hard to figure out what exactly Sportacus liked. Sports. And Sportscandy. Two things the villain loathed with a seething passion.

 

“F-Fine ! Whatever! I can do that. If it's for the sake of getting that stupid elf out of here forever - “ Right in the moment , he heard a loud buzzing coming from behind the tree ; followed by Sportacus' voice.

“Someone's in trouble!” he said in that softly accented voice. Robbie expected the sudden swish of Sportacus' body flipping about – instead, he heard Sportacus gasp.

  
“M-my hat ! Where is it? I put it here - !!”

  
Robbie suddenly stiffened against the treetrunk.

His hat? Oh !! _That_ hat .

That hat he's been holding in his hand. He had not even noticed he had taken it while hiding, his fingers clenching the fabric softly.

 _“Ew!”_ Robbie instantly dropped it to the ground, not wanting to get into contact with – wait a second !  That's it ! Sportacus likes being nice to people, doesn't he? And he likes when others are nice to him as well. Just yesterday , he gave him this...smile. This weird, warm smile when he offered him a drink.

 

Maybe that's the key then – _being nice._

Oh dear, that's going to be hard. But he had to try !

Robbie cleared his throat, shooed the bird off his shoulder, and sauntered elegantly from behind the tree.

  
“Why , hello Sportabuddy.” he gave a soft wave. “How are you doing today?”

  
“R-Robbie. Did you see my hat? Someone's in trouble, and I can't rescue them without my hat.” Sportacus seemed terribly nervous, distress in these skyblues. He had slapped his hands to the sides of his head, a futile attempt to cover up the ears.

  
“Your hat is missing, huh? Imagine that! Let's see – ” Robbie lifted his arm from behind his back, a blue piece of fabric dangling from his fingertips. "Mayyybe this one ?"

  
“Yes, that's the one!” Sportacus leaned forward, snatching the cap from the villain's grasp faster than Robbie could've said no. The hero quickly slipped it on, cramping loose strands of honey blonde beneath the rim. “Thank you Robbie!” he muttered , before he was flipping off.

  
“Y-You're welcome, Sportabuddy!” Robbie called after him – but the hero probably did not even hear him at all, considering how loud these little gremlins were screaming for help on the other side of the sportsfield.

“Bah !! Being nice is such an ungrateful job! All you get in return is a 'thank you'. Wh-what am I supposed to do with a simple 'thank you'?! Tsk !”

  
Grumbling, Robbie followed, jumping from treetrunk to treetrunk, closer to the hero and his little fanclub. Sportacus grabbed that tricky girl's ankles, pulling her out of a trashcan – god knows what she had done this time to get herself stuck in there.

“Are you okay, Trixie?” He asked once he had freed her. The little girl looked shaken, but unharmed.  
  
“Y-Yes, I'm okay. Thank you Sportacus.” she smiled a wobbly smile.  
  
  
“What have you guys been up to?”'  
  
  
“Well, we're trying to set up our own Lazytown Funfair!” The pink girl said, pointing at the stacks of wooden planks, paint and hardhats.  
  
“You mean _my_ Lazytown Funfair?” Stinky asked, tugging at one end of his little red fly.  
  
“No, I mean _our_ Lazytown Funfair.”  
  
“Yes, yes, with – with cotton candy and – and sugared almonds!!” Cookie boy said dreamily.  
  
“And shoot the can!” Tricky gave the trashcan Sportacus had pulled her out of a kick.  
  
“And bumper cars!” Poodle added.

“And a spookhouse !”  
  
“ _Yaas !_ Spookhouse!!” The five half-sized screamers shouted in tandem. Robbie cringed, slipping behind the high yellow stone wall.

“W-What?! A funfair ? Spookhouse?! Bumper cars !? Urgh, these little brats are going to turn Lazytown into a circus !!”  
  
'Coocaw?' the cockatoo fluttered close, landing on his shoulder, smothering Robbie's sideburns with little nibbles. Pesky lovedrunk bird!

  
“I have to stop these kids! I will not have them destroy the peace and quiet I need to woo that Sportafl--” suddenly, he stopped. Wait a minute ! No – he couldn't do that! Because if there's anything Sportacus liked besides sports and sportscandy, it were also the kids. And if he upset these little rascals, he will also upset him.

Robbie groaned, digging his fingertips into his scalp. He completely had to put a one-eighty spin on his entire planning here. He had to be – ugh – _NICE !_

 

“The things I do for love.” he sighs. “And for getting some well-deserved sleep.”

 

Robbie snapped his finger, a mist of purple glimmering smoke exploded before his feet, and a basket filled with apples appeared before his feet.

He gave a soft gag, just looking at them made him queasy. This won't do though, he figured, and with three more snaps of his finger, and with plumes of glitter slowly fading, the basket was not filled with apples, bananas, grapes and carrots. Robbie gagged again, shuddering. Oh lord, this was the worst day in his life .

Picking up the immensely heavy basket, he dragged it along towards the group of children.

  
  
“Hey, Robbie – what are you doing here?” One of the kids, the one with the orange hair, came closer.

“Go away, kid--” he growled. Choked on his own spit, and stammered: “I-I mean – Hello there, Pimple! Isn't it a great day today ?”  
  
“ My name's Pixel.”  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
“Hey, Robbie – are those sportscandy in that basket?” The pink girl had approached, her bambi eyes were wide with surprise.  
  
“Whu – yes . Yes they are, _so what?_ ”  
  
“You don't eat Sportscandy!” The tricky girl pointed a finger at him.  
  
“Yeah, you never eat anything healthy. Why are you carrying these around then.” Robbie squinted down at the pigtail-girl's finger in distaste, swiping it away with the back of his hand.  
  
“Didn't your parents tell you not to point at people?”  
  
“My parents told me not to point at _good people._ ”  
  
“Tsk, you're honoring me.” Robbie simpered, shrugging. “Then I guess I'll just have to take this basket of delicious spor— _gurgh!_ \- sportscandy and leave again.”

 

“Robbie! Wait.” Sportacus jogged closer, an easy smile on his face. Robbie imagined how much satisfaction he would feel if he'd never had to see this stupid smile that made his eyes crinkle and mustache bob ever again – turns out, it's not much.  
  
“You brought sportscandy?” the hero eyed the basket, with justified suspicion. For some reason Robbie felt a tad bit uncomfortable.  
  
“W-Well yes. Yeah, I, heh, you see, I had a coupon, and uh – “

  
“Are those real?” Stingy grabbed one of the apples without asking first, weighting it in his hand, giving it a poke, then showing it to Ziggy, who eyed the candy with small beady eyes.

“My digipad says they are all real.” Pixel typed something on his wrist computer. “It's safe to eat.”

  
“Puh! Are you implying I would give you poisoned apples? I'm a _villain_ , not a _criminal_.” Robbie shook his head. His eyes caught the elf's again, noticing the hero smiling at him the same way he did last time. Warm, a bit lop-sided, brows slightly arched, those cute laughter lines beneath his eyes...

  
“That is really nice of you, Robbie. Giving them to us.”

  
Robbie bit his lip, hoping pain could stop his face from heating up. He couldn't blush now, not in front of them.   “Yeah yeah, whatever. W-Wouldn't know who else would eat all this rabbit chow.”

 

“Hold on just a second !” Stephanie suddenly shouted. Everyone turned to her as she slapped one of the apples out of Sportacus' grasp. The hero stared at her, and so did the others, even Robbie. Pinky picked it up, inspected it ; looked at him grimly. “How do we know these aren't candy apples?”

  
Clever little brat, she was. Almost as nifty as he is ...

  
“You're not that nice usually, Robbie Rotten!” She hissed, “You're only pretending to be nice to put Sportacus in a sugar meltdown!”

  
...but still not as nifty as himself.

“Well, take a bite then, Pinky, and tell me what it tastes like.”

  
Hesitantly Stephanie took a tiny bite, chewed – then her eyes lit up. “Guys, they ARE real!”

  
Sportacus smile widened, smiling back at the villain with warmth in his eyes. Biting his lip did not prevent the blush that crept onto Robbie's face. Instead, he kept his head high, averting his gaze, while the children all gathered around the basket to pick out their favorite sportscandy.

  
“Guys, don't forget to say thank you to Robbie.” Sportacus reminded them , and so they did.  
  
“Thank you, Robbie.” All five said together, and Robbie huffed out a puff of air, that's how tightly his chest constricted. Maybe he was close to a panic attack …?  
  
He feels a breath escape his lungs he didn't realize he had been holding once the brats went off back to their work, and for a moment, Robbie was certain the elf would follow them. Instead, Sportacus approached, standing next to him.  
“You really did something good, Robbie.” he said, friendly, “For a second I really thought this was one of your plans again.”  
  
_Who said it wasn't?_

  
“Well, I told you already, it's all in the past. The traps, the sugar apples, the insults. From now on, I want to your frr – your frr – fr-fr- _friend!_ ” wow, that word sure was hard to speak out.

Nothing could've prepared Robbie for the shift on Sportacus' face. He beamed like a christmas light in a dark room, jaw agape, showing his perfect white teeth in a big smile.

  
“That's...that's great !! I-I mean – yes, it's wonderful! I'm glad you changed your mind about the kids!! And – and me too!” his hand went towards Robbie's and for a second the villain felt like someone threw a bucket of ice over his head. Wha-wha-what is he doing?! The iron grip and sudden, violent shaking of his arm tore him out of his confusion, he groaned in pain, and Sportacus dropped his hand at once.

“Sorry, Robbie. I'm just very, ah – happy. Very happy.”  
  
Robbie held his hand and rubbed over the reddened skin there. Gosh, he always forgot just how strong that stupid elf really was. Good thing he never had to experience this again once he's...  
  
Sportacus unclipped his bottle of water from his belt, and took a sip. Robbie's eyes bulged, staring at that familiar object. He's still drinking the love potion. And still, as far as he could tell  - no effects. He suddenly didn't care about his aching hand anymore as much as he was focusing on the heavy feeling in his gut.  
  
“Robbie?”  
  
“W-What?” he stammered, focusing on the elf again. Sportacus brushed water from his lips, showing a smile again that crinkled his eyes in that charming way...  
  
“I want to be your friend , too. And the kids as well, I bet.”  
  
“ _Great._ ” Robbie forced a simper on his face, hoping it didn't look too pained.

  
“Hey Sportacus, could you help us with the ladder please?” The pink girl called, carrying the heavy thing towards a tree.  
  
“I gotta go. See you later, Robbie --” Sportacus skipped off, then came to a stop. “Ah! Robbie ! Would you like to help us , maybe?”  
  
  
Words could not describe how much he _didn't_ want to do that. Still, he forced on a smile.  “Sssure. Sure. Yes. Helping ... marvelous idea.”  
  
“Great, come on! I think we've got something for you to do.”

  
“Lovely.” Robbie ground out between clenched teeth. He took in a deep breath, exhaled slowly. Well – he still could ruin their little plan of building this stupid funfair if he did it sneakily. And if there's anything he's best at, it's definitely being sneaky !

“Well, what do we have here...?” Robbie eyed the construction site. Lots of scattered tools and wooden panels, pain splashes over the grass and on their clothes. Ugh, why were children so messy?!

  
“Robbie, Robbie! Can you help us paint the roof of my Cotton candy booth? Huh? Can you, can you?” The fat blonde boy tugged at his pant leg. Robbie snatched it from his grasp. Ew! Those sticky, unwashed hands will ruin his clothes !

  
“I-I want it to look like my lollipop, white a-and red and pink and purple!!”  
  
“Cotton Candy booth?” Robbie arched his brow. That thing over there was supposed to be a booth? It was barely standing on its own, boards were loose, nails were crooked and stuck out, and the roof had holes and chinks  -  not to mention the painting job on the walls was horrendous.  
  
  
“Hey, Robbie, is that a parrot on your shoulder?”  
  
Robbie winced as he, in fact, did notice the stupid bird had found its way back on his shoulder, ruffling through his hair. He snarled and pushed the cockatoo off his shoulder, staring back at the boy's 'construction'.  
  
“Y-You call that a cotton candy booth? It's barely even a building at all! Look at it - It's falling apart!”  
  
  
The boy's expression fell at once, beady eyes growing large. “Y-You think so?” he stammered.  
  
  
“Did you build that on your own?”  
  
  
“Uh-huh.” Ziggy nodded. “W-Well, at first Stingy was helping me, but then he took away most of my tools, so I had to improvise and, and ...”  
  
Oh no. He knew what happened when children dropped their voices and looked to the ground like that. He would not stand here and watch that little brat start crying because of him – if Sportacus finds out, he'll never get him to fall in love with him! What to do, what to do?

  
“I-I know it's not the best there is, b-but...” Ziggy nibbled on his lower lip, baby blues looking left and right. This wasn't what he had planned – he was supposed to destroy this stupid shed, put a halt to their terrible plan !! He too started letting his gaze wander, a bit helpless. They fixed on the wide expanse of a blue colored back.

Sportacus was holding the ladder in place while pink girl fixed the roof of her own booth. Now, that's just unfair ! She had help, and candy boy didn't! He narrowed his eyed, cracking his knuckles.

  
“Step aside, Sticky.”

  
“Huh?” Ziggy watched as Robbie walked past him, and towards the boy's disheveled shed.

He rubbed the tips of his fingers until purple sparks and smoke emitted from the friction. He smirked, focused, then he snapped his finger – and with a poof , that horrible mess of a shed transformed into a big , proper stall, with striped, spinning ornaments on top, pretty pink awning , and a gant cotton candy machine ready to be used inside. A giant sign with orange font on purple background : ' COTTON CANDY ,ZZ incorporated.'

  
“There! Much better.”  
He heard Ziggy gasp. “Wooow! I-it looks soo cool !! Guys, Guys look, Robbie helped me with my booth!”

Only seconds later, Robbie was surrounded by little excited gremlins, all gawking at Robbie's little magic trick with awe in their eyes. “You did that?” Sportacus asked, incredulously.

“W-Well, heh. It was easy, really. Looks much better now anyway, doesn't it?”  
  
“It's amazing!!” Ziggy jumped up and down. “I love it, I love it I love it!! Thank you Robbie! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

  
“Yeah, it's so cool!!” Nixie  agreed, and so did the piggy-bank boy and Poodle and even Stephanie looked very impressed, the last bits of wariness she had in her eyes when eyeing the villain were gone, if only temporarily.

But either way, Robbie found himself feeling a strange form of ... contentment. He never got to show off anything since forever, and hadn't felt this appreciated since, either.

Sticky boy was jumping with joy, occasionally pausing to wrap his arms around Robbie's leg in a hug, which the villain tried to avoid until realizing he wasn't strong enough to pry the kid off of him. Maybe being good wasn't all that bad after all...?

 

“Oh but if Ziggy gets his own super cool booth, then I should get one too!” said fancy boy.  
  
“Stingy, you abandoned Ziggy when he needed your help!” said the gizmo guy.  
  
“That's not true, it were _my_ toolboxes, and _my wood_ and _my paint_!”

  
  
Sportacus carefully maneuvered through the crowd of bickering brats, closer to robbie. He, too looked avid. “That was amazing, Robbie ! How did you do that so quickly?”

  
“Ah, you know – I am just that good. Hehe.”

  
There's suddenly a hand on his shoulder. “I – I don't think there's any other way to say it. You are doing great, Robbie. Thank you. So much.”

  
There it is again – that smile. That voice. Those eyes crinkling. His gut pulling and his chest constricting. It's gotta be the touch, he told himself, he hated being touched ! Even though the hand on his shoulder did not feel invasive at all, in fact …

  
“Who wants some cotton candy?” A loud, shrill voice echoed through the sportsfield. Robbie cringed, and Sportacus' attention was draw away once more, joining the others at the brand new cotton candy machine – and Robbie's mood turned sour at once.

 

“What am I _doing_ here ?? I am not supposed to make them happy! I am supposed to make their lives harder !”  
  
'Craaw!' the cockatoo croaked.

Robbie gave an irritated snarl in return. “I am a villain number one, and not some sort of , of – Mother Theresa for little brats! _Tsk!_   This plan is stupid! This love-potion was stupid ! Being nice is stupid !! I'll go back to being bad – right, about – NOW!”

  
Robbie turned – and ran face-first into the tree trunk. Pain shot through his nose, and Robbie stumbled backwards with a yelp.

 

Suddenly, there was a ruffling noise. Like something heavy rustling through leaves. From the corner of his eyes, Robbie did notice the flash of a light – Sportacus' crystal. Indicating that someone was in trouble. But who ? 'Craww!!' the cockatoo gave a startled shriek – fluttering off as fast as it could. What?! What's going on ?!

  
“Watch out !! The ladder !!” someone else screamed - and suddenly Robbie realized he was the one in trouble. A numbing pain hit him at the top of his head, for a second, that was all he felt. Then, nothing.

 

* * *

 

  
The first thing he noticed were a heavy pressure on his arms and limbs, and top of his chest and the center of his head. He groans, blinking against the sunlight shining into his eyes. From far, far away he hears voices, coming closer. He can't really hear what they are saying, nor who they came from.

He just sees the sunlight, and a few blurred shapes around him. One was very pink. The other yellow. The other – blue...

  
“...bie... bbie.”

  
What? What were they saying?”

  
“ .. ter... ater.”

  
Robbie wanted to rub the blur out of his eyes, but while he felt his arm slowly lifting, he had to drop it again, the pain in his head throbbing like a jackhammer. Ouch. Ow. Ough, what happened? He remembered walking around just moments ago, and...

  
“Trixie, water. Bring me the water.”

  
Wait. He knew that voice.  
  
“S-Sport—aa--”  
  
“Robbie, can you hear me? Oh gosh, Robbie, I am so so sorry, I – “  
  
“Oughh, my head...” Robbie whined. There were voices around him, loud, annoying, high-pitched voices of kids. “Wh-what... where...”

  
“The-the ladder hit your head.” said the dancing girl, her fingers reached for his hair, ran along his scalp. Robbie winced at a sudden stinging throb pounding through his skull.  
  
“Stephanie, don't -” Sportacus hand reached for hers and pulled it away. “You've got a goose egg of the size of a tennis ball on your head, Robbie.”  
  
“ _It hurts_.” Robbie moaned.  
  
  
“H-Here you go, Sportacus!” Trixie came back, carrying the large H20 bottle in her hand.

Robbie's eyes bulged. Oh no. No-no-no!! Not the water, not his water !! Anything but that!

  
Sportacus uncapped the bottle, holding it towards Robbie's lips. “Drink.”  
  
“Nooo.” Robbie whined softly.  
  
“Robbie please !” Sportacus looked positively desperate at this point, his handsome face contoured with worry and – guilt maybe?

  
Robbie tried sealing his lips shut, but even that felt like a chore – the water slipped into his mouth and Robbie instinctively swallowed so he wouldn't choke, and Sportacus kept pouring water into his mouth. After some time, Sportacus drew the bottle away from his mouth, his hand on the back of his neck, slightly lifting him.

Robbie's eyes finally opened, glancing into two cloudless skies.  
  
  
“How are you feeling?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter just did not want to be written. Here it is though.

 

“How are you feeling?” Sportacus asks.

His heart is racing, and the crystal is blaring.

This was the first time, ever, that Sportacus had not been fast enough to safe somebody.

 

His gust twist with guilt. Oh , what if Robbie had a concussion? What if Robbie cracked his skull? 

Sportacus ran his fingers along the man's scalp, careful, digits running over the goose egg Stephanie had mapped out before. It felt like it had been immensely painful – but there was no blood, which gave the hero some sense of control back. God beware if he was actually loosing blood ! On a day like this, where Robbie finally decided to drop his tough attitude and decided to open up – and Sportacus failed him.

Robbie's eyes sprung open suddenly. A stray tail of water dribbled down his chin. His gray eyes focused on the man above him, wide and unblinking for several seconds.

  
“Robbie, are you okay? Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel nauseous?” 

Robbie didn't answer. He's looking at him like he's seeing the hero for the very first time. A dreadful conception crept into his mind, but Sportacus would not accept it until he was absolutely sure.

 

“Kids, help me getting him into a sitting position. Slowly.”

  
All five children grabbed one part of the man and carefully pulled or pushed until Robbie was sitting upright, leaning heavily against Sportacus' hands.

  
“W-We should call a doctor perhaps.” Pixel said , and Stephanie chirped: “My uncle ! He recently got his certificate for his paramedic training. We should bring Robbie to him.”

  
“I-I gotta find out if he's okay, first. “ The elf leaned closer, until their noses almost touched, looking back into Robbie's empty eyes.

“Robbie, can you hear me? Can you speak? Do you remember who I am?”

  
“You are beautiful.”

  
“I'm – what?”

 

Robbie's hands connected with the ground as he leaned forward. “You are ... absolutely _beautiful!_ ”

  
There was a moment of eerie silence, except for Stingy's piggy bank slipping from his fingers and landing on the ground, coins clanking inside the porcelain casing.

“R-Robbie...?” Sportacus leaned his head to the side, and Robbie mirrored the action. On his pale face, a venerating expression, gray eyes sparkling.

“Just look at you – you are marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.”

  
“Is he supposed to be like this?” Trixie frowned, her expression bordering towards disgust, and so did Stingy's and Ziggy's. Pixel patted something on his computer watch. “From my memory data, Robbie has never, err .. expressed words like that towards Sportacus. Ever.”

  
“I haven't?” Robbie blinked to the boy with the funny hair , and then straight back to Sportacus. “Oh, I have missed out on so much then ,” he inched closer. “Because you are, indeed , a masterpiece.”

  
“Robbie, you are starting to worry me.” the superhero moved backwards, until it looked like they were animals, shuffling on all fours, Sportacus away, and Robbie closer.

“Those muscles! Those eyes ! That mustache !!”

  
Sportacus jumped to his feet. Robbie tried to do the same, but the moment he stretched his legs to stand, he instantly lost balance at once, stumbling backwards. “Whoa!” Sportacus caught the man just in time.

  
“Are you alright?”  
  
“Y-Yes. More than alright.” Robbie purred, actually purred, setting his hand down on the man's bare arm. His face was flushed, and his eyes glazed over with a wet shine.  
  
  
“Oh-ho-ho! Looks like someone's got a crush on you, Sportaloverboy !” Trixie laughed, and Ziggy and Stingy joined.

  
“Guys, this is absolutely _not funny_ !!” Stephanie stemmed her fists into her sides. “I think there's something awfully wrong with Robbie, this is no time to make fun of him.”  
  
“Stephanie's right. Ah – guys, I think we gotta continue building the funfair tomorrow. “ Sportacus gave Stephanie a glance. “Do you think we can bring Robbie to your uncle until the ambulance gets here?”  
  
“Of course! Guys, come on!” Stephanie and the others sprinted off towards the mayors burly yellow house.  
  
Meanwhile, Robbie was still holding onto him, his hands on the hero's shoulders now, drawing circles around them. He's looking at him, through lidded eyes, adoration in those gray pools. Sportacus felt his guts clench.

 

“Oh Robbie. I am so , so, sorry. M-My crystal, I don't know why it hasn't reacted when you - “  
  
“Oh Sportacus. Do not even worry about it. I am not mad with you.”  
  
“You're … not?”

  
“No, of course not ! How could I not forgive you? You are so brave, and so strong!”

  
Sportacus, although the comments did seem to spark a slight flutter in the pit of his stomach, only looked further concerned. What was going on with Robbie? He's never been this affectionate with him before. He's acting so completely different than usual. Sure, that could be one of the things that Robbie just ... did with his friends.

He has been very nice the whole day, and the day before too. But still - something felt off.

 

Sportacus looked from the tree towards the ladder lying on the floor, and back to the villain. Well, it had been a heavy ladder, after all.

  
“Robbie, how many fingers am I holding up right now?” he said, presenting his flat palm.

Robbie looked dreamily at the offered hand, gave a soft , delighted chuckle.

“One, two , three …,” he counted, his own finger tapping gently on Sportacus' own. “ four, five...just enough room to fit five more.” Robbie said, placing his own fingers into the spaces between Sportacus' digits.

And suddenly they were holding hands.

  
While that wasn't exactly what Sportacus had wanted to archive, he felt a lump in his throat beginning to grow. From what he could tell, Robbie's mind was working fine. Maybe that excluded the possibility of him suffering a concussion from the ladder. And he definitely did not seem to have any memory loss either, well, at least he had no trouble remembering him.  
  


“Do you remember what happened?” he asked him, just to be sure.  
  
“Which part? Zigzag getting his candy cotton booth or the ladder hitting my head?” Robbie asked, grinning like a cat that got the cream.  Right... Looks like his memory was fine. But then why was he acting this strange?  
  
  
“Okay, Robbie. We'll get some help for you. Don't worry.”  
  
“W-Will you carry me ?” Robbie asked, fluttering his dark lashes at him.  
  
“I-- sure. You still can't walk?”  
  
“Noo, I do not think I can.” Robbie whined. “I am so dizzy, and my knees feel so soft and my heart is racing -”

  
“Alright. I see.” Sportacus placed his arm beneath Robbie's form, and lifted him up effortlessly. Robbie gave a soft squeaking noise, hands instinctively grasping the back of the hero's neck for leverage. Poor Robbie seemed a bit startled now that he's suddenly levitating over the floor.

“Don't worry, Robbie. I am not going to drop you.”  
  
“Y-You won't?”  
  
“No. I promise.”   
  
Robbie nodded, and pressed himself further against his chest, while Sportacus began walking.

This all had started off feeling so genuine, so real. When Robbie told him he cared for him, Sportacus had not been able to keep his heart from dancing inside his chest all day long.

For once, he wanted to believe, and trust the villain, give him the benefit of the doubt. At times , when Robbie had broken his trust, Sportacus had wished he were able to truly hate Robbie the way Robbie hated him apparently.  
  


To be able to remember each time Robbie had fooled his and meant to cause him harm, whenever he called for his aid. But he simply couldn't ; whether it's the superhero codex, or his feelings towards the man, knowing that he was truly not so much of a meanie as he made everyone think he is.  
  


But then, Robbie came with a basket of sportscandy, real sportscandy, to him and the children, and offered to be his friend – and Sportacus could feel it in his bones that the day he would finally win Robbie as his friend had come.

He was great with the kids, and especially with Ziggy. The fact that he helped him make his booth the biggest and prettiest of them all was so selfless of the usually so selfish man, it was amazing to the hero.

  
He loved Robbie, loved when he smiled so genuinely, when he dropped that tough attitude towards him and the kids, when he played with them - when Robbie was happy, so was Sportacus.

But now, everything seemed so... not Robbie himself. Sportacus shook his head, no. He was looking too deep into this. Robbie just got knocked on his head pretty hard, and couldn't even walk ; if anything, he was probably still incredibly dazed and discombobulated. Maybe with time his brain get back on its old track, and they would have a good laugh about Robbie calling Sportacus ' marvelous' and ' beautiful'.  
  


“How do you do that?” He heard Robbie say in a husky tone.  
  
“Huh?” Sportacus blinked. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Carry me. Or, throw things. Or lift things. You are so … _so strong!”_  
  
“Well, heh. That's what I am trying to tell you for years now, Robbie.” Sportacus offered a weak smile. “I train everyday – and I eat lots of sportscandy.”

  
“Puh, that can't be it!” Robbie rolled his eyes. “There must be more to it than flippedy-flopping and, and – eating rabbit chow all day.”

  
“Ah, nope. That's it.”

  
“Pah ! Maybe you are just that much of a marvel after all.” Robbie chuckled. “You are the master of muscles. Like I am the master of disguise.” Just now did the villain tear his eyes away from the hero, looking around. “Where are we going?”  
  
“I'm bringing you to the mayor's house. You know where that one is, right? ”  
  
“ Guh. I guess. I once replaced all the flowers in his garden with fake ones." 

How very strange ! Robbie seemed to be able to remember everything - names, faces, places , even schemes he pulled on the residents before. He even remembered his own 'master of disguise' title. He remembered everything ; except his villainy attitude towards Sportacus.

  
“Will you come along and stay with me for a while, Sportasweet?” Robbie asked – causing Sportacus to stop in his tracks , almost dropping the man.

“S-Sportasweet?” the hero croaked, throat suddenly feeling clogged, tongue heavy.  
  
“Aw, no need to feel sheepish – you simply are as sweet as glazed donut on a lazy sunday.”  
  
“That's, ah – thank you, Robbie. I think ? ”

  
Oh dear. They really had to get some help.   
  


* * *

 

“I wasn't aware you had a paramedic qualification.” Sportacus cocked his head as Milford Meanswell carried a white suitcase into his office.   
  
“Oh, err, yes. Well. We recently have received an update about our regulations regarding emergencies. “ he proudly presented the little document hanging on the wall. “And I have to be prepared as well, of course. Well then Mister Rotten, let's see what we can do for you.”

  
He skimmed over the bump on Robbie's head , which the villain did not enjoy at all judging by the grimace he put on his face and the angry snarls he made when the mayor  accidentally hurt him – juxtaposed to how he reacted when Sportacus had touched him there.

He whined and fussed, and the mayor apologized profusely each time. Or maybe Robbie was being a bit melodramatic about the whole thing. He scanned Robbie's eyes with a small flashlight, and checked his heart beat and respiration, as well as a few other, rather unnecessary examinations of his molars and one 'free CPR', which both Robbie and Sportacus swiftly declined.

  
“Alright Mister Rotten, I am going to hold up some cards for you now, and I want you to tell me what you see.”   
  
“C-Can't you let me go home now?” Robbie grumbled, looking hopefully at the hero standing next to them.

“I promise you to bring you home after the mayor is done examining you, alright?” Sportacus offered an encouraging smile, and Robbie's face softened at instant, a semblance of adoration in his gray eyes.

  
“Whatever you say, Sportasweet.”

  
 _“Sportasweet?!”_ Trixie blurted, making gagging noises with the other kids giggling. “Trixie, shh!” Stephanie hissed.

  
“Y-Yes, well e-err. Let's begin then.” Milford picked up the first card, and held it towards the villain.. “Can you tell me what this is?”   
  
Robbie stared at the card with a bored expression. His eyes skimmed past the short fat man, and fixed his gaze on the hero instead. A tiny, dreamy smile appeared on his face. “Something sturdy.” he said.

Milford blinked, and stared down at the card. It was a picture of a house. He muttered a few words under his breath, slipped it back into the deck, and held up a second card with a flower.   
  
“Something beautiful.”

  
A card of a bear.  
  
“Fierce and strong.”  
  
Sportacus' brows knitted together. Was Robbie really reading off the cards ? He's not even looking at them, he's looking at …

  
The next card made Robbie give an exhausted sigh, rolling his eyes. “Naturally...”  
  
“What is it?” Sportacus came closer and examined the card. It had an apple on it. Sportacus and the mayor shared a short glance.

  
“Well, err, hmm. Alright, I think we are done. Yes...” Milford sorted his cards and placed them back into his medical suitcase. “It seems that you're quite lucky considering the circumstances, Mister Rotten. I would suggest putting some cool on that bump and, ah, yes, of course – no physical activities, though I assume you have not planned to do that anyway.” 

 

Sportacus looked at Stephanie, and she looked back at him - they shared a moment of silent, confused gaping.

  
That's it? He's fine, except that bump on his head? Not that Sportacus wasn't immensely glad to hear Robbie was fine, other than that horrible goose egg, and he trusted the mayor to know what he was doing – but that still didn't explain how Robbie was acting since.

“Here we go! Something to help you with the swelling, Mister Rotten.” the man returned from the kitchen, juggling a bag of ice in his hand, which Robbie eyed suspiciously. “Eugh ! Frozen water?! You're giving me frozen water to eat?”

  
“N-No, Robbie, you gotta put it on your head. Like this.” Sportacus lifted the bag and gently placed it on top of the villains head.

Robbie made another whining noise, and tried to scramble away. “C-Cold! So cold!”  
  
“It'll help you, though. It will numb the pain a little, see? Come on, Robbie.”  
  
  
“Yeah Robbie, do it for your Sportasweet.”   
  
“Stingy!”  
  
  
Robbie's face was twitching, upper lip fluttering like a nervous hare. Carefully, he placed the ice back on top of his goose egg, flinching – and then visibly deflating as the pain gradually waned.

“There we go. Not so bad, is it?” Milford Meanswell smiled, and with a hum, headed back to the kitchen.  
  


“Ah, Mister Meanswell, could I talk to you for a moment?”

  
“Huh? Ah, yes ! Of course ! Anything for you Sportacus.” Milford nodded before the two moved further away from Robbie and the kids.

  
“Are you sure he is alright?” Sportacus asked.   
  
“I - pardon?”  
  
“I am wondering if we shouldn't call a med – I mean , an ambulance.” Sportacus did not want to hurt the mayors feelings or imply he was bad at his job, but Sportacus simply had to be sure – despite the crystal resting against his chest without making any noise that someone needed help.

  
“W-Well ; as far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with him. He can talk and walk properly, he recognizes faces , voices and objects, and he knows who and where he is. You said he even recognized the kids, yes ? In that case, he seems more than alright to me.”  
  
“Yes, I know, but – “ Sportacus frown deepened. “That is not what I am worried about. It's that .. Robbie is acting very strange ever since the accident. Haven't you noticed ?”  
  
“Oh?” Milford looked lost. “He does?”  
  
“Yes! You know Robbie doesn't usually call me , uh … endearing names, right? And usually he wants to be left alone, and doesn't want me around at all. And when we arrived here, he practically didn't want to leave my side at all. He's not even bothered by the kids, either. ”  
  
“O-Oh...” the mayor's eyes grew wide. He nervously looked over to the villain, as if to confirm Sportacus' words. Sure enough, Robbie was not even paying attention to the children loudly talking over each other; he was leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees, chin resting in his palms, eyes fixed on the man clad in blue.

  
“Oh _my_.” Something dawned on the mayor then, something that made the poor man look like a deer caught in the headlights. Whatever he just realized seemed like he was not supposed to realize.

  
“What's wrong?” Sportacus cocked his head.  
  
“Well, I – oh dear, how do I explain this...” from a pocket, he drew a rag to wipe at his forehead. “Sportacus – I'm afraid there is no, err...no medicine for Robbie's condition.”

  
The hero's face went as white as a sheet. No medicine? A lump formed in his throat. “A-Are you saying Robbie i-is v-very ill --?”

  
“N- _No!_ Nono, not like that! Not like that at all.” he stuffed the handkerchief back into his trousers. “I think Mister Rotten might have started to... find a liking in you. For a lack of a better word.”

 

Sportacus' face must've gone even paler then. Mouth agape, the hero stared at him, then over to the villain, back at him, and back at the villain. A liking? For him? _Robbie?_  
  
“But...Robbie doesn't like me at all.”  
  
“W-Well, he does seem kind of, ah - infatuated with you, doesn't he?,” The mayor dared to show a lopsided smile, as he found the town's villain raising his hand, waving gingerly up and down at Sportacus.

 _Infatuated?_  And only a hit on the head was enough for that? But … if the mayor noticed it, and the children noticed it, everyone but Sportacus himself, then he assumed there might be truth to that statement.

 

* * *

 

“I really hope my uncle was right.” Stephanie said, as they left the mayors office. Sportacus nodded, thoughtful, as he helped Robbie move out of the towns hall back into the open, the villain holding onto the hero's arm for leverage, balancing the bag of ice on his head. Its like teaching a fawn taking its first steps ; still not used to these long thin things that shook with every movement.

“I'm sure the mayor did a good job, Stephanie. I trust him completely.”

  
“I-I do too, of course I do ! But … I don't know, maybe we should really call the hospital.”

  
“Oh, drop it, kid.” Robbie blew a raspberry. “Do I really look that ill?”

  
“Actually, yeah. You do.” Trixie eyed the villain , both hands wrapped around the superhero's arm, ever so often letting his fingers run appreciatively over the bulge of muscles there.

Sportacus issued a blush – Robbie on the other hand narrowed his eyes at her. “How about you mind your own business, Pigtail.”

 

“Tsk! Come on, guys. Let's not bother the _freshly wedded couple_ then.”

  
“Trixie!!” Stephanie called after the guffawing group of kids as they moved further ahead and towards the playground. “Sportacus, I-I'm sorry.”  
  
“Its okay, Stephanie. No harm done.” Sportacus, despite the situation, offered a smile. “I think it's time I bring Robbie home.”  
  
“Yeah, I think it's time Sportacus bring _me_ home.” Robbie repeated, obviously smug about the fact he would have the hero for himself – which he emphasized by sticking out his tongue at the pink haired girl when Sportacus wasn't paying attention.

  
They made their way towards the small cobblestone path that gradually led into an unpaved dirt path towards the two tall billboards at the outskirts of town.  
  


  
“I'm sorry for the kids, Robbie. They can get a bit, ah – excited at times.” He really did not want to call them immature, they were all still very young after all, and maybe not capable of understanding the situation. Then again – even Sportacus was having difficulties with fully understanding the situation at hand.

  
“Bah. 'Excited' is an understatement.” Robbie shrugged. “At least they're smart enough to leave us alone, hm?” Robbie fluttered with his long dark lashes.   
  
_Infatuated_ … That's what the mayor had said. It was so strange to see Robbie like this – batting his eyes at him and holding onto him with an appreciative touch. The attention didn't feel bad, not at all, and Sportacus was happy, if anything, to talk with the villain in a normal way, without him throwing insults around or growling and huffing. He's always grateful when the man accepted his aid, even now – after Sportacus had failed to safe him.

He still thanked whatever deity was up there for keeping the damages as low as possible, while Sportacus still battled with the ongoing guilt he felt. He could've been faster. He could've prevented this. He had prevented much, much worse situations with much, much less time at hand – and yet he had not been there when the one person he cared so much for needed him. He glanced down at his crystal, in confusion.

Maybe... Maybe its the crystals fault? It hadn't alerted him at all, only once the damage was done. Now that he thought about it , his crystal very seldom alerted him when something happened to Robbie, only, of course, when said villain was in deep trouble...

  
  
“Sportacus.”   
  
  
Robbie's voice tore him out of his thoughts. He had barely been paying attention to his surroundings, so he found himself a bit confused once he realized they had entered the back of the billboards, Robbie leaning against the only entrance to the villain's chute. Sportacus blinked. “I'm... ah. I'm sorry, Robbie. Wh-what did you say?”

  
“I said, you look worried,” The villain cocked his head. “What's troubling you, my Sportasweet?”

Sportasweet. Despite the lump in his throat that hadn't left since they exited the mayors house, he couldn't help but show a smile.

  
“There we go. That's much better.” Robbie nodded, smiling in return. “You look much better with a smile, Sportafrown. Your mustache does that little - that little bobbing.” the villain emphasized by pointing upwards above his upper lip.

  
Now Sportacus laughed. “It does?”

  
“It's adorable.” Robbie confessed.

  
It's strange to hear himself being called adorable. Heroic, yes. Strong and brave, sure – but adorable? The clench in his chest eased into a ball of butterfly wings that coiled in the pit of his stomach. Maybe that's what caused Sportacus to stop his laughing and let the smile on his face settle into a gentle chuckle, before eventually, he stared back at the villain with anew concern in his eyes.

“I'm sorry, Robbie.”  
  
“Huh?” Robbie now looked frazzled. “Sorry? For what?”  
  
“I could've... this could've been prevented. I could have prevented this. You've been really kind today. To me, and the kids, and I appreciate that.”

  
“ _Kind._ ” Robbie repeated, letting the word drip from his lips with consideration. “Well, I am just that versatile.” He paused, looking back at the hero. “Is that why you look so _blue,_ Sportasweetpea?”

  
The hero grinned at the word play, but shook his head. “It's not that. Not at all. I just think I don't...deserve your kindness , considering what happened today – “

  
Two hands ran along his upper arm, right where fabric and skin met ; before Sportacus knew what was happening, Robbie and wrapped both his arms around the hero's neck.   
  
“Oh, my sweet, sweet superhero,” he sighs, his eyes dreamy, his voice nearly singing the words. “So brave and so humble .”

 

Sportacus swallowed. “I-I – heh.” His face must be glowing at this point. He could definitely feel the blush creeping onto his face all the way into the tip of his ears. “I'm not brave and humble. Just – I just make sure everyone is doing okay, you know? Usually I don't let things come this far. I just want to keep everyone out of trouble.”

  
“Yes yes, of course you do. And I am doing splendid, see?”   
  
“Aside from that dent in your skull.”  
  


Robbie rolled his eyes.

“ What? I'm just – worried.”  
  
“Oh, Sporty.”

Sportacus snickered. “I mean it, Robbie. You gotta promise me to keep that ice pack on your head, okay?”  
  
“Whatever you say.”

  
Robbie gave an exaggerated sigh that shifted back into a smile halfway through. “Fine. Don't accept my compliments then, Sportamodest. But I think you do deserve a little reward at least. C'mere.”

And Robbie leaned in, planting his lips right on top of the hero's. Sportacus seized up under the man's hold, eyes wide, hands hovering uselessly in the air. For several moments Sportacus didn't move, nor blink, nor breathe, while his mind reeled. What – what was happening? Was this happening right now? Robbie sighed softly against the hero's lips, fingers playing with the few tufts of honey-brown hair sticking out from underneath the cap.

And suddenly it ended, as fast as it had happened. Robbie's eyes fluttered open, looking back at the hero with a hint mischievous glee in his eyes. But judging by the little laugh the villain gave, Sportacus must've made a rather different face. It took a moment or two until Sportacus' mind caught up with everything – and a smile stretched over his reddened face as a swarm of little fluttering butterfly wings tingled in the pit of his stomach.

 

 

 _“Sportacus, Sportacus, Sportacus …”_  

 

His sigh echoed through the chute as he dropped down into the underground, landing softly in his armchair, staring at the ceiling.  
  
“So charming and brave and handsome – and oh, sooo , sooo dreamy.” Hands grasped for a pillow and clutched it to his chest, wringing both arms around it. “Soft and strong, too! Oh, Sportasweet... I would do anything for him.”

  
Eyes shot open like gunshots. Jumping from his chair, the pillow dropped out of his grasp.

  
“What - am – I – _DOING_?!”  
  


Distressed, the villain ran towards the nearest mirror, staring at his reflection. Oh no. His eyes were bright and awake. Face tinted in a healthy hue – the bag of ice slipped from his head, and landed with a wet noise on the floor. He knew that look. He knew that look, and it terrified him.   
  
“I-It can't be !! Th-This wasn't supposed to – h-how?! W-When?! Where?! _WHY?!”_  
  
Feverishly, Robbie combed through his mind. “I tried getting sportabeans attention and build that stupid booth for that sticky boy... then I got hit by the ladder and... and ...” humming, he rubbed his chin. “That...that's it! The water !! Sportakook made me drink his water with the … the ...”

 

All color drained from Robbie's face. “W-With the love potion ...”

 

For a while, silence followed. Only the distant echo of a leaking drain and chemicals bubbling filling out the void.  
  


“Well. That... explains a lot.”

  
Oddly enough, Robbie did not freak out. Not immediately, at least. Half a cake later, and Robbie's mind slowly, steadily caught up with the situation. Caught up with the things he's said. Had done. Had longed to do.

 

“Oh my god. I called him _Sportasweet_ ... ”

  
Another half of a cake later, and Robbie was sure this was all a very long, very terrible, very surreal dream that would end, shortly. Or maybe that hit on the head had ended his life, and this was some kind of strange purgatory in which Robbie had feelings for the town's hero. The one person Robbie hated more than anything. Maybe that was his eternal punishment? Being in love with his arch enemy.

 

“Oh my god... I _kissed_ him. With my mouth. On his lips.”

 

Only once Robbie got up to grab a bucket of ice cream from the fridge and slipping on the thawed bag of ice, landing hard on his behind and now struggling with two bumps on both ends of his body, did the villain realize that this was very real. With a whine, Robbie rubbed on his aching backside

“Gah!! This is horrible. This is absolutely terrible ! I can't be in love with Sportanerd! He was supposed to fall in love with _me!!_ So _I_ could be the one telling him to .. to ...to take his stupid water and his stupid sportscandy and his stupid, stupid adorable, handsome, wonderful mustache, and his boyish smile, and his strong arms and his beautiful, beautiful eyes...” Robbie clutched a hand over his chest to keep his heart from fluttering right out of his ribcage. A sigh escapes his lungs.

  
“I can't help it. He's too _dreamy –  UGH !!_ I-I gotta find an antidote. And quick ! ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsk! Twitterpated ...

**Author's Note:**

> The usual warnings apply here, non native speaker, not beta'd, comments & kudos are very appreciated ♥


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